Saturday, July 09, 2005
- 7:31 PM
Sometimes i'm really angry with myself...Why can't i ever do anything right...I can't excel academically and neither can i shine when i dance...i'm like this totally useless thing wasting the earth's oxygen and resources. I got 89 for my ballet exam and i don't even think i'm average.The highest in class was 95, nicole and chu qiao...shun got 92 and jun yan got 90(the rest unsure)You might think that it's only a few marks different and afterall it's still a distinction so why bother?But i just can't help being particular.To me, every mark is impt...Why must everyone tell me that i made great improvement, raise my hopes and later let reality smash all my dreams.Well this is not the first time going through this...last yr the exact same thing happened and although i've the experience" alr, somehow it's just hard to accept it all over again.Maybe i have too high expectations of myself or maybe i'm just really lousy.Whatever it is, nothing can be changed anymore.My ego has dropped to negative infinity once again.i don't know how am i going to continue dancing...